Letter to the Universe #2

Dear Universe,

It's been a while since my last confession. I'm confusing religions here. This is especially funny because you are not a religion. So sue me. Or do what you do best, send that bitch, Karma, my way. I digress. You know what they say though- a digress can't change its inability to shut the hell up.

I've got to say I'm pretty happy to be writing this letter to you. You see, this time, for once, I actually have something to confess. Now, I know that some bitchy words were exchanged when you sent me The Ex last time. I wish I could say that I didn't mean it, but I did. There was no need for you to draw that card, man (woman?). Still, somehow it's all worked out. Wait, that's bull shit. It's just started, how could it be worked out?

Here's the deal-io, a few weeks after the whole X Fiasco, I'd regained control of my emotions and even thanked him for acting like a dick and leaving me alone. So, I'm fine, resigned to a life of celibacy, but fine. Not good enough for you, huh Universe? You go and send him to me again. Now, I know you know all this, being the universe and all, I just want to make sure that we're on the same page so bear with me, OK? Luckily, I'm prepared this time. I remember that I am a woman warrior, proud, guarded and strong. I will abstain, I told myself.

Universe, the only thing I abstained from, was the aforementioned celibacy. Oops.

I was uber cool though. You would have been proud of me. The funny thing is, I didn't mean to be cool; I was just naturally really chilled with the situation. So imagine my surprise when he seems reluctant to see me! I told him not to call me and then went out with another ex.

So thank you Universe, for giving me the opportunity to act like a ho sans guilt. It was awesome.

Of course, then The Ex called me again. Now, the issue is, how do I convince the guys that it's alright for me to see two men, but that they should see only me. Hm, pickle. Still, where there's a willy, there's a way and I will think like a man (big change there) and come up with a solution to continue my amoral ways. Oh if only I were truly amoral! Then I could just lie!

Just one little favour, Universe- please don't send a third. Peace out.

Yours truly,
Alexia