Dear Universe,
I just wanted to thank you for August. It wasn't the best month. In fact, it was the most awkward month of the year for me. I felt out of place, like a collage. My self-assurance just fizzled out...over-use I guess. No, I am thanking you for its sheer beauty.
You'd might like to know that issues with The Ex are stopping and starting like a much-loved jalopy that you know you should take to a nice farm. It is odd to want to be with someone you might not even like, to want to be with them even though you know they will break your heart. It is odd to know that you will always be in love with each other, but also that it will never work. Can't live with him, can't live without him, to the max. Did I say 'in love'? Take that with an ocean of salt. Everybody knows that this girl doesn't 'do' love. He reminds me why I avoid relationships. So why do I jump straight into him and his words? Did I say 'girl'? I meant to say 'woman'. Whether he agrees or not. Hey Universe, next time I fall in love, can you make sure it's a man who sees me as a woman and not a boy who thinks I'm a girl? Oh and one who isn't such a sexist little beast. While the irony of a feminist falling for a chauvinist may seem fucking hilarious to you but, personally, I find it a bit annoying.
My friend Echo ( who has a spectacular blog at www.hopedieslast.wordpress.com ) told me about some theory which suggests that falling in love has to do with one particular gesture or attitude. One little thing and we're stuck like a thief in a catflap. I know if I agree with that but it would explain a few things. The Ex and his damn kisses. It would be no exageration to say that I crave his affection.
Before I shut up, I'd like to promise you that my next letter will consist of more than The Ex. I am not a woman whose life revolves around men. Next time you shall read about alcohol, silk robes, the blues and my pathetic writing career.
Hope all's well in ...the milky way? Are you in the milky way or is it the other way round? If it is the other way around, what are you in?
Respectfully,
Alexia
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Letter to the Universe #2
Dear Universe,
It's been a while since my last confession. I'm confusing religions here. This is especially funny because you are not a religion. So sue me. Or do what you do best, send that bitch, Karma, my way. I digress. You know what they say though- a digress can't change its inability to shut the hell up.
I've got to say I'm pretty happy to be writing this letter to you. You see, this time, for once, I actually have something to confess. Now, I know that some bitchy words were exchanged when you sent me The Ex last time. I wish I could say that I didn't mean it, but I did. There was no need for you to draw that card, man (woman?). Still, somehow it's all worked out. Wait, that's bull shit. It's just started, how could it be worked out?
Here's the deal-io, a few weeks after the whole X Fiasco, I'd regained control of my emotions and even thanked him for acting like a dick and leaving me alone. So, I'm fine, resigned to a life of celibacy, but fine. Not good enough for you, huh Universe? You go and send him to me again. Now, I know you know all this, being the universe and all, I just want to make sure that we're on the same page so bear with me, OK? Luckily, I'm prepared this time. I remember that I am a woman warrior, proud, guarded and strong. I will abstain, I told myself.
Universe, the only thing I abstained from, was the aforementioned celibacy. Oops.
I was uber cool though. You would have been proud of me. The funny thing is, I didn't mean to be cool; I was just naturally really chilled with the situation. So imagine my surprise when he seems reluctant to see me! I told him not to call me and then went out with another ex.
So thank you Universe, for giving me the opportunity to act like a ho sans guilt. It was awesome.
Of course, then The Ex called me again. Now, the issue is, how do I convince the guys that it's alright for me to see two men, but that they should see only me. Hm, pickle. Still, where there's a willy, there's a way and I will think like a man (big change there) and come up with a solution to continue my amoral ways. Oh if only I were truly amoral! Then I could just lie!
Just one little favour, Universe- please don't send a third. Peace out.
Yours truly,
Alexia
It's been a while since my last confession. I'm confusing religions here. This is especially funny because you are not a religion. So sue me. Or do what you do best, send that bitch, Karma, my way. I digress. You know what they say though- a digress can't change its inability to shut the hell up.
I've got to say I'm pretty happy to be writing this letter to you. You see, this time, for once, I actually have something to confess. Now, I know that some bitchy words were exchanged when you sent me The Ex last time. I wish I could say that I didn't mean it, but I did. There was no need for you to draw that card, man (woman?). Still, somehow it's all worked out. Wait, that's bull shit. It's just started, how could it be worked out?
Here's the deal-io, a few weeks after the whole X Fiasco, I'd regained control of my emotions and even thanked him for acting like a dick and leaving me alone. So, I'm fine, resigned to a life of celibacy, but fine. Not good enough for you, huh Universe? You go and send him to me again. Now, I know you know all this, being the universe and all, I just want to make sure that we're on the same page so bear with me, OK? Luckily, I'm prepared this time. I remember that I am a woman warrior, proud, guarded and strong. I will abstain, I told myself.
Universe, the only thing I abstained from, was the aforementioned celibacy. Oops.
I was uber cool though. You would have been proud of me. The funny thing is, I didn't mean to be cool; I was just naturally really chilled with the situation. So imagine my surprise when he seems reluctant to see me! I told him not to call me and then went out with another ex.
So thank you Universe, for giving me the opportunity to act like a ho sans guilt. It was awesome.
Of course, then The Ex called me again. Now, the issue is, how do I convince the guys that it's alright for me to see two men, but that they should see only me. Hm, pickle. Still, where there's a willy, there's a way and I will think like a man (big change there) and come up with a solution to continue my amoral ways. Oh if only I were truly amoral! Then I could just lie!
Just one little favour, Universe- please don't send a third. Peace out.
Yours truly,
Alexia
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